sounds of synanon

recorded in 1964, all the musicians here are patients at synanon rehab. joe pass was in for heroin addiction, which he overcame after ten years of jail, poverty, and semi-homelessness. apparently he took his (already insane) guitar playing and improvisational skills to another level in rehab, practicing all day and night because there's nothing better to do in treatment. this is the result:



so maybe heidi fleiss, tom sizemore, kari-ann, and dennis rodman should start putting something together? "the sounds of celebrity rehab 3"?

RIP FUCKHEAD

i think god was watching mtv one day when he realized he had to do something about that john mayer fellow. this is that asshole that just HAD to make the song "your body is a wonderland" exist. who goes out of his way to explain how he is a serious artist doing serious artist things like dating jennifer aniston, getting a bunch of shitty japanese fish tattoos, and making a (entirely faked) guitar face that is so fucking disgusting that it can't be described in the words. it actually makes your insides feel funny.

this guy tries to claim he's a legit guitarist, does hendrix and SRV covers, works with clapton (who is currently a lame, irrelevant iphone-shilling, old millionaire) and buddy guy and blah blah blah, then backtracks on his shitty music by putting together a SERIOUS guitar trio - that is shitty - really, really shitty.

the universe decided it had had enough and mayer ruined his career with a terrible playboy interview, in which he proved himself to be a sheltered simpleton frat-boy, asking "what is being black?" and then going on to drop this gem: "not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s." WHOA.

he just dug the hole deeper as the interview went on: by saying "nigger", talking about how he has a hood pass because he worked with one black guy once or something, making a white supremacist reference when describing his...ugh...his dick ("my dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock.") , and calling jessica simpson "SEXUAL NAPALM". the guy also admitted that him and jennifer aniston broke up because he was addicted to twitter. holy fuck.

the press jumped all over him and the entire world has joined together to say "FUCK JOHN MAYER". i turned on the news and there was a CNN panel discussing what a turd he is. yes!!!!

today, to appease the gods, john mayer cmade this official statement:

"I quit the media game. I'm out. I'm done,"

COULD THIS BE TRUE? PROOF OF DIVINE INTERVENTION??!?!

"It seems that John Mayer fans are set to feel devastated by recent reports claiming that the rocker is planing to retire soon. According to the news, John could be ending his career in the music scene after he finishes his current tour.

That news surfaced after the rock singer himself stated in an interview with USA Today, stating that he might not be releasing anymore albums."

THANK YOU KITTEN JESUS!!!!! MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BRAINWASH

andrea just made me remember our grade six science fair project that just sums up the best parts of my tweens. the premise was that we were going to record the effects of music on the miiiind - it was called "BRAINWASH" (as in "carwash" but instead of cars its 11 year old brains and instead of soap its cds through headphones out of the boombox in my bedroom.)

we slacked off until the last minute and never ended up actually doing any of it, and made a bunch of kids in our class lie that they were participants in our research project. we wrote a completely made-up report, claiming we had recorded heart rate, temperature, BRAINWAVES, everything. with medical equipment we somehow had lying around. like tiny idiot doctors. we even put down what we thought would be "believable" results, like heart rate of 12 bpm or something.

the best part is that our project revolved around the effects of...L7! a totally made up science fair project about how we had discovered the groundbreaking scientific link between "mr. integrity" and the brainwaves, heart rates, and MINDS of 11 year olds.

seeing as we were tiny idiot geniuses, our project ended up going to provincials, where we sat in a gym full of chinese mensa kids doing biochemistry and physics. we explained our medical research to the various judges that probably assumed our project was an elaborate joke so smart that it landed us in provincials.


and then, in grade nine, we took the exact same project, dusted it off, and entered it in our high school science fair. this time it involved people also having to blow up balloons. holy shit.

if the stars align, it is still in our highschool, which happens to be a block away from where i live. we just need to track it down...so we can both have end of term projects this semester.

12:02amAndrea

i need to figure this out

i just called daniel

he mentioned something about us making people blow up balloons

????
12:03amHannah

that sounds vaguely familiar
12:06amAndrea

i know fuck

im going through my hotmail account