BRO HOLE

HOW I SPENT MY FRIDAY:

me and mish try to get the internet to work at the library/go searching for wireless

only place with wireless is a 'taphouse' (white people slang for 'bar with expensive fries')

'writing article' turns into john frusciante youtube videos + fries + beer

funky bro holes/unicorn and walrus tattoos

more beer

go home to find dad using new amp

get pissed because dad is way way better than i remembered

get pissed-er because i almost thought i had gotten better than him finally/could out drink him finally

tall cans
tall cans
tall cans

hashbrowns

my cat is retarded

suddently realize i should probably get a job /life

tall cans

unemployment specialist

in between fistfighting my amp, drinking beer, trying to get a US work visa, and being the busiest unemployed person ever, i have squeezed out two more things for hearty. thanks go to mish for helping with editing/resizing.

here they be:

FREE FALLIN'

NOVELTY BLANKET REVOLUTION (ALL ABOUT FART BLANKETS!)



PS

MARRIAGE FARTS!!!!!

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

it is funny when i suddenly realize that everyone i made plans with in the past six months(aside from one person), ended up flaking out.

sitting around and thinking about this at 4:30 in the afternoon makes me all teenage and weepy, like jared leto/JTT is about to creep into frame and console me. instead i'm fixing things that don't need to be fixed and trying to stay busy and being too busy and then suddenly being hit with empty time and unresolved high school angst. always always always.

THE QUEEN IS DEAD/LONG LIVE THE QUEEN

SHE KEEPS IT REAL



thanks to my homegirl mish, i am gonna be doing a bit here and there for hearty magazine. thanks to things like an editor, my stuff is actually grammatically correct and tidy looking. here's my first piece of magic hangover ramble for them: LONG LIVE THE QUEEN

FOR MISH AND ANDREA

THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE?






ANDREA

MISH

strange lives

My dad, age 21/22


Postal Address:
Lower Mainland Regional Correctional Centre, Drawer __, Burnaby ___, BC

Date: Sept. 18/1971

"...Anyways, I'm being transferred out of here to Haney on Tuesday to some kind of work farm...they don't seem to consider me a terribly dangerous criminal - they're wrong of course, but it's their business and not mine...."

Letter from my dad to his family from Oakalla Prison aka Lower Mainland Regional Correctional, early 1970's.

"Dear Mom and Dad

The trial has been postponed until the 7th of February, but there is much talk about how it will turn out, of course it could only be rumours and yet it seems like evry thing has been worked out behind our backs before we even set foot in court. "

"If I should by some miracle die it's better that than to degenerate into some mush-ball. I may not know what I want to do but I sure as hell know what I don't want to do. This is why I hate letters, they make me feel dirty as if every word I have written is a lie. "

About Oakalla Prison/ LMRC and Haney:

Documenting memories of Oakalla prison 1912-1991

It is the common verdict that all prisons and jails are dangerous, frightening places and most of our communities simply will not consider hosting one. Yet there have been fewer than a half dozen prisons in all of Canadian history which truly deserve to be labeled "infamous". American penal history has its Alcatraz, its Leavenworth, Sing Sing, Folsom, San Quentin and many more. In Canada the most feared prison was the "super-maximum" called Millhaven, built outside of Kingston, Ontario. Here on the Pacific Coast no prison was more "infamous" than Oakalla, in Burnaby.

The statistics for Oakalla hint at the horror and decades of unrelenting pain. There were 44 official executions (hangings) ... 890 escapes between 1940-1990 and a score of full scale riots. There were also dozens of suicides and a few thousand suicide attempts, during the prison's last decades of operation.
A 1987 aerial photo of the main hall of the Oakalla prison complex in Burnaby, B.C., near Vancouver. Oakalla was completely demolished in 1992 at the insistence of the municipal government, and replaced by 531 "luxury" condo townhouses and rental apartments. It has been suggested that the ghosts of the men executed at Oakalla still haunt the hillside property. Research for THE GHOSTS OF OAKALLA has uncovered many extraordinary and compelling stories of its desperate inmates.

There have been just a handful of books published about Oakalla Prison and Earl Andersen's HARD PLACE TO DO TIME (1993) is probably the best of the bunch. Ironically, given the fact that Oakalla was always in the news, there have been no documentary films produced on its history or its incredible inmate population. Well we are now addressing that lack of foresight because time is running out. The survivors are dying off and living memory has become dull. Pre-production is underway and we will have an HD video short ready for viewing by mid-August. Any person or group with an interest in viewing THE GHOSTS OF OAKALLA

should send me their contact information. The isolation unit of the infamous Oakalla Prison in Burnaby, B.C. The institution had a fascinating and deeply troubled history. It housed a Who's Who of British Columbia criminals and political prisoners.




Six years later, my parents met:

"I'm full of hope about the life in Canada. And we can do anything because we're together. We both have energy, hope, and the reason of our lives (sic)...each other.

1977/3/27 "

- My mom, age 21.





HAPPY ENDINGS DO HAPPEN?!?!?!?!?!

I AM NUTS < MY DAD IS NUTS

"ostriches only have two legs. they also have quite pointy heads"

- text message from my 60-something year old dad, from across the continent. 11:09 pm today, apparently worth the long distance charges.



if you do enough acid, you will one day feel the need to randomly text your kids this sort of stuff.

you will also feel the need to only wear a robe, miniskirt length, around the house on a day to day basis. and says stuff like "hey, i took a bath six days ago - whats the big deal?"

when i was 8 or so my dad tried to convince me he was related to a coyote.

when do i know whether or not my dad has become senile? for someone who pissed in the kitchen sink once because it was funny, and had a bonding experience with a seagull that landed in my living room as a kid, it can be really hard to differentiate old age dementia dad from normal dad hilariousness.

i feel like he just smoked a joint with an ostrich just now. role models come in all forms.

sounds of synanon

recorded in 1964, all the musicians here are patients at synanon rehab. joe pass was in for heroin addiction, which he overcame after ten years of jail, poverty, and semi-homelessness. apparently he took his (already insane) guitar playing and improvisational skills to another level in rehab, practicing all day and night because there's nothing better to do in treatment. this is the result:



so maybe heidi fleiss, tom sizemore, kari-ann, and dennis rodman should start putting something together? "the sounds of celebrity rehab 3"?